Lingering …

I was thinking the other day about moments you can’t capture in a photo but they live rent free in our memories… of a smell I wish I could bottle. A smell that felt safe, warm and fuzzy.

Every Christmas Eve , my grandma and grandad ( dad’s side) & my grandad ( mums) would come and stay with us for a few days over Christmas. We would all move around to accommodate 3 extra bodies but somehow I always got to stay in my own bed but I usually had mum in with me.

I absolutely loved those few precious days.

Christmas mornings were always extra special  with everyone waking up and having a cooked breakfast that dad always threw together. The house smelt of Christmas. A lingering mish-mash of full English , Grandads tobacco , grandmas perfume that smelt of palmer violets, Bailey’s coffee, turkey, sprouts  and it sounds silly but it felt comforting. Because if love had a smell it’d be this.

There’s only myself & my brother now and we aren’t that close unfortunately. I would do absolutely anything for him but we don’t see that much of each other.

We’ve not had a big traditional family get together for so long . I’ve definitely not smelt ‘that smell’  for years . I’m not sure I ever will again … but when I’m missing them if I try hard enough I can remember how it made me feel … and that was safe and very loved.

It felt like a big blanket of love being wrapped around me . Lots of laughter , card games, Christmas movies.

The Just being together that I miss .

What I’d do to experience that just one more time . I don’t think you realise how special something is until you can’t do it anymore.